Dear Visitor,

Welcome to fags-United.co.uk and may we wish you a pleasant stay. Fags-United has been started by a group of friends as a fun thing to do. Nothing here is too serious and mostly just for a quick smile. We will need to sell a few T-shirts to keep us going, but everything else is for free. Note prices have been slashed £10 2 T-shirts (+ £2.99 for package and posting).

We are not saying that smoking is good for your health, with the possible exception of your sanity in this rat race world of ours. We just think people have the right to choose. We will feature a new e-mail type joke everyday, except when the webmaster is away on holiday, he does that quite alot these days. If you have any good ones please e-mail them to the webmaster (click here). In light of this, here is todays JOKE-OF-THE-DAY (click here). This month our "landing page" features the "get go" of our work, don't you just love marketing speak. So we are showing our Executive board, along with their "biologs" - what ever that means. See below for details.

Speaking of marketing speak, ever played "Meeting Room Bingo"? It really is quite good fun, and will iritate the hell out of the meeting chair. To get the rules and an example Bingo card click here . Come quick, www.meetingroombingo.com is here at last!!!!!

Name: Paul Colville

Title: Cief Executive Officer
Number smoked per day: 20 or so
Favourite Brand: Marlboro
Biolog:- As the only operson in the company able to organise anything, we thought he ought to be in charge. Paul used to be a high flying executive. Really! He used to fly to Austratlia from the UK every week, until he realised that his sleeping pills, endless vodka and tonics, were not doing his liver any good. Also, he had to give time to a very sick daughter, who has now thankfully recovered. God bless the NHS, as Mike would also say! We are thinking of running positive NHS stories in the future, if anyone wants to send them please click here..

Name: Caroline Lacey

Title: Director in charge of "Global Operations and Marketing Strategy"
Number smoked per day: 20, or that is what she says!
Favourite Brand: JPS Special
Biolog:- Caroline is the only person we know in charge of the acounts department of a medium sized company, without an "O" level in mathmatics. GCSE to those of our visitors to young too be smoking! She keeps dogs, chickens, cats, guinea fowel and wild rats (who sadly sometiomes eat the chickens). Her cockerel, Billy-no-mates features this month (view in site).

Name: Gemma Lacey

Title: Director in charge of "Sales and "Being the Face of Fags-United.co.uk "
Number smoked per day: None
Favourite Brand: None
Biolog:- Gemma is old enough to smoke, but very sensibly, has decided not to. She is about to start her "A" levels, poor thing, but we are told by her mother (Caroline) that she "will work hard, won't she". She is a bright thing, but the rest of us think needs to travel more.

Name: Mike Lane

Title: Director in charge of "Global Communications"
Number smoked per day: None
Favourite Brand: Used to be JPS Special
Biolog:- Mike smoked 20-30 a day, until last year, when he had 2 cardiac arrests and spent a month in a coma. He thought it best to stop, and is now waiting very patiently for a heart transplant. Not one of the lucky ones then. Mike is the dim looking one on the right. The bright one on the left is his eternal and best friend Elsa. His family have decided they don't want to be seen with him, for obvious reasons! Mike would also like to say that if you want a website as silly as this please go to www.webpitt.co.uk. The rest of them have jobs or school to go to.